bye for a bit |
Description: hey my dudes, (click for a letter-y thing) been a while since we had a wee lil chat. that isn't what this video is about but that's beside the point - the point being that ya gal is havin' a slight content crisis of sorts... ...but actually tho.* Ant's self-esteem-engine has run into some technical faults. I still have no idea what I'm doing YT wise, which is massively intimidating to me considering that I have been in this weird internet spot for around three years - but it's just getting upsetting now. To the point where I need to go away for a bit without needing all the pressure to come back. It's hard being yourself on the internet. To open up and leave yourself vulnerable to humiliation, criticism and fear. Fear is a massive motivating factor. I'm terrified, frankly, of doing the wrong thing, saying the wrong thing, acting up. and yes, this will hopefully be the last 'content crisis' vid I ever make. because hopefully I will one day make videos that are about more than how I am not making videos. Hence the cover of a song about how nostalgia for a time when things were easier and I didn't overthink all my stuff. Either way I'm in a place rn where I feel you all might not like me. In fact rn I don't really like me. And I hate, with a burning passion, the fact that I am admitting that literally all I want in life is to be a nice person and for people to like me. yep, I'm one of them. hi. There is, I have discovered, no right way to do anything, really. We all think we're doing good but in reality there's nothing stopping u from succeeding or failing except urself...and idk if I can deal with that responsibility yet. So, yeah. the old brain muscle is acting up and I also have deadlines and am generally just not doing well atm. Please don't freak out. I need the space. don't hate me. I swear I'm a functioning human on some level. Love u. xo ✌︎ LINKS ✌︎ ☁︎ 2nd Channel: http://goo.gl/RVZxN1 ☁︎ Twitter: http://twitter.com/antw0rld ☁︎ Instagram: http://instagram.com/antw0rld ☁︎ Spotify: http://play.spotify.com/user/top_banana96 *may even end up attempting some sort of VEDI-type thing in a last-ditch attempt to cure this; but I make no promises. legit. it's a mess. 
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